Hi





Wow, what a success The Great Drag Race has been. The guys from John Lewis had a brilliant time. I hardly recognised them on facebook.





Going back to my Tom, I think we got to the Princess Alice Hospice , we had a really good first week. Lots of visitors from work , mum and dad and my brothers and Tom's older son Peter.

I had spoken to Tom's daughter Sophie who lives in Sydney and she arrived in London on Saturday of the Easter weekend.



I often wonder if Tom was waiting for her to arrive, he was so happy to see her and poor Sophie distraught to see her father looking so frail. By the way, Tom was a very huge man, not fat , but build like a rugby player, very strong , excellent golfer, much to the envy of all his friends.



His best friend and Luca's godfather Gary was by his side all the time , to comfort him as well as me, I think. He read Tom poems and stories and they were remembering the last 11 years that they had known each other. Gary decided that he needed to take the time off work in order to spend it with Tom, he would not take no for an answer, I can't describe the dedication from Gary . It was very moving.

Tom wanted different things to eat , like watermelon and feta which we eventually tracked down as was not in season. I can see his face now eating eat with a little smile on his face , his eyes closed remembering a day on the beach in Sydney where of course he grew up( having moved from Greece at the age of 8) Then one night he wanted Fish & Chips, haddock though not cod and he ate all of it.

Sometimes me and Gary were wondering how ill Tom really was and I became hopeful, but then when I was helping the nurses wash him or shave him and I saw his deterioating body I knew

that this could and should not go on.



Its a funny thing, the process of dying ,as the doctors call it, which you cannot slow down. the body just has to go through the processes and sometimes it may take hours , days or weeks in Tom's case. He was so calm and really at peace with himself. Luca broke up from nursery on Thursday and we did a little Easter egg hunt for him at the hospice at the weekend . I even popped home for 4 hours on Easter Sunday for a little rest.

In case you are wondering , I had some time booked off work .



We all had a wonderful time together , I think especially me and my Tom.



The second week was a different story though ...



In the meantime, I have done the 9 mile midnight walk in aid of the Princess Alice Hospice with a group of my colleagues from John Lewis.

Did not quite realise how painful power walking is with a bunch of very fit much younger blokes who think nothing of running 9 miles let alone walking it. Still, at least I did it and was back at work the next day at 8.30am !! even if I draged myself around looking constipated as someone pointed out.



Right better get some work done, see you all next week..

Hi



It's already the week of 'The Great Drag Race' on Saturday 19th June.It will be a fantastic day!!! 6 guys who work in The Place To Eat in John Lewis Kingston are brave enough to be running the 10.2 K race in frocks.

It's all a bit mad here in th PCRF office.



Anyhow , I wanted to get back to explaining what had happened to Tom.



So, we were transfered by ambulance from the Royal Marsdens in Sutton on Friday 26 March as they felt Tom may not live beyond the weekend. I cried when we left the Marsdens, how stupid though,its not as if I would want to have to go there again.



I cannot tell you the relief for Tom of getting to the Princess Alice Hospice in Esher. What a magical place.



Tom asked for a priest and him being Greek Orthodox , I cannot tell you what a mission that was. At first we could not get hold of one and then two arrived at the same time.

We were laughing as Tom clearly needed two priests to get into heaven.



Father Christodolous from Battersea arrived first who was really lovely and compassionate.He conducted Tom's funeral.

He spend much valued time with Tom and they got on as if they had known each other for years.Tom spoke about him every day after that. He gave Tom a picture of Christ to make sure he went with the right person once he got up there.I thought that was amusing and very reassuring for Tom.





That night our 4 year old son Luca stayed with us for a sleepover. Tom and him had a wonderful time together. Lots of cuddles.



Unbelievably we stayed there for another 15 days and 15 nights....



Me and Luca had our first bereavement class at the Princess Alice last Tuesday.
I felt very overwhelmed . Luca recognised the place straight away and said 'oh mummy its dadda's hospital, but you know he won't be here pointing towards the sky.' It is amazing how, so far, he has accepted everything what seems to be with great ease. He did a lovely booklet about Tom with some of the other children and volunteers and after the initial floods of tears, I found my session with some of the other parents really helpful.



More of this next week... need to get back to the Drag Race packs ...



GOOD LUCK GUYS

Until next week



Martina