Can you believe that Tom passed away 3 months ago already.
I must say I feel a bit worse than I did last month somehow.
Can't quite put my finger on it , just feel very sad at times and of course miss him a lot.
It was his birthday on the 4th July , he would have been 54...
We had lovely time in the garden with a steel band and Greek food and wine and raised £ 623 for charity.Luca knew it was his dad's birthday and he asked me if we could make it his homecoming party instead. That made me laugh and upset a bit.
Anyhow I am not doing anything for charity for a while, I am charitied out.
I feel anxious about not having anything charitable organised in the future as I dont want people to forget about Tom, but of course its not like that.
One of my best friends Karen's relative passed away at the Princess Alive 3 days ago and that brought it all back again.
Tom was very tired in the second week, unabel to move much, but still so proud insisting that 'my wife' will shave and wash me. Sweety!!
Tom was looking thinner all the time. Strangely though he was glowing , really handsome and his tumour on the jaw completely disappeared. It was as if the cancer had gone.The doctors told me that he was deteriorating rapidly. I invited the children over for lunch on Thursday to a pub near the Princess Alice andGary got Luca from my parents as well, not to see Tom though as he looked too weak and I thought it might upset him.
Gary stayed with Tom and Tom had all his curry and jelly & ice cream. All over a sudden Tom asked Gary if he could call me as he needed to see Luca.
So we rushed back and they had their last big cuddle.
Me and Gary were heartbroken, but Tom was ok and so was Luca.
I remember that we had a good night that night and the following day it was all change again...
I have rented a place in Greece for 2 weeks in August as Luca is going t o big school in Sept.
I mentioned it at the bereavement class last week and I think they were all a bit gobsmacked that I would go on my own . I see it as a challenge and an adventure for me and Luca and I know Tom will be looking out for us seeing he was Greek. I am sure I will get upset and miss him badly , it will also be a great time for me and Luca though to spend dome much needed time together. I cannot wait.
I will see you again next week.
Martina
